First Memory

I am watching a the Netflix documentary on Tony Robbins, and had this realization that when I was two years old, I made a decision about love, I made a decision about God, based on a judgment I made, about something my grandfather said about me. 

At the time, I believed he was making fun of me, but I can see now that he was only trying to be funny. He was only trying to bring joy and laughter to the situation.

This is something I have continued to carry throughout my life.

Right now, I am faced with the same decision.

A person on the doc asked Tony's wife, Sage, how can I feel safe, inside? how can I know that I am safe? And, Sage said something to the effect, by trusting, by knowing that you're guided. By knowing that in the right time, [the universe] will show up for you. 

This really hits home with me, because I am right in the middle of a situation that requires trust.

I am held.

I am held by the universe.

The universe has my back.

I can rest, and trust that the energy will come when the time is right.

I will do everything I can to show up in the moment and do my part.

I will do everything I can to trust that God will do his part.

God is giving me the direction I need. And, part of that direction is rest, and listening, and taking time to write, and chill, and even embrace the word lazy, which is the dirtiest of dirty words to me.

The direction from God is stillness.

That could change at any moment, but for now it is walking to the kitchen, brewing some coffee, and making a salad.

Am I going to trust that the universe has my back?

Yes.

I am going to practice knowing that God will show up for me at the right time.