Love Letter To Myself (Unedited)

I just wrote this, and went from sadness to safety. I am safe in the heart that is my eternal home.

I am so grateful to be a part of all this.

Thank you, Universe, for answering my prayer today. 

I am feeling so good.

I am held in the arms of love today.

My prayer today:

Dear Universe,

I just poured out my heart on social media, to almost no response whatsoever. 

What do I have to do? Do I have to say the actual words, I am going to kill myself, and keep repeating myself over and over, until I someone hears me, until I hear an honest response from someone? What is it going to take? I am so exhausted? I am so tired of trying to make myself feel better. I am so sick of the advice in my head. I am so sick of the stream of advice running through my head.

I have to start with something other than advice.

I have to start from another place.

I have to begin from my heart.

I have to start with a love letter to myself:

Dearest Matthew, dearest friend, my dearest love and companion, this is my love letter to you, 

I love you. I support you. I am here for you.

I love you. I support you. I am here for you.

I love you. I support you. I am here for you.

I love you. 

This is my song to you.

This is my prayer for you.

This is my prayer from the universe to you.

Please know that for some people, it is in their hearts to say this to you.

Please be patient.

Please understand that they love you.

Please understand that they are doing the best that they can.

This is my love letter to you,

I love you. I am here for you. I support you.

I love you. I am here for you. I support you.

Thank you for your courage. 

It's like Brené Brown says, "talk to yourself like you would someone you love..."

You are beautiful in all your ways...

You are beautiful in all your ways...

You are so beautiful.

You are so beautiful.

As it says in the song Beautiful by MercyMe

You're beautiful

You're beautiful

You are made for so much more than all of this

Days will come when you don't have the strength

When all you hear is you're not worth anything

Wondering if you ever could be loved

And, of they ever saw your heart, they'd see too much

Before you ever took a breath

Long before the world began

Of all the wonders He possessed

There was...

I'm praying that you have the heart to fight...

You are beautiful

You're beautiful

You are welcome here

Long before the world began

Thank you, my love

I love you with all of my heart

I am looking deeply into the mirror and can see clearly, that I am loved beyond all comprehension

I am so grateful.

I am so grateful.

I am so fucking beautiful.

I am so fucking beautiful...

And, now I am laughing...

Thank you so much, Universe.

Thank you so much, Love.

Thank you so much, God!!!

God in me and me in God!!!

I am building up my overall energy through perseverance.

I am so grateful to be a partner in my own personal evolution.

I am passionate about ending suffering in my life.

I am passionate about helping other people eliminating suffering in their lives.

I am strong, and my strength comes from within me.

And, I am accessing that strength by having the courage to feel my emotions...

I am beautiful.

I have a beautiful, innocent heart...

I am so grateful...

I am so grateful...

This is my song.

This is my dream for myself.

This is my dream for the world;

To turn pain into joy;

To transform suffering into exuberant energy;

To reframe our thinking that we are experiencing something bad into a gift;

That is my experience today.

I woke up feeling so lost and alone, and now I feel connected and clear, and full of light.

I am so grateful.

Thank you, God.

Thank you, Matthew.

Thank you, God.

We are one.

Thank you, Universe.

God is everything.

God is so good.

So good...

So good!!!!

Woohoo!!!

Peace.